Authenticity, Safety, and the Wisdom to “Read the Room, Baby”

Because showing up whole shouldn’t require you to risk your peace.

There’s a line from my Infuse Compassion podcast interview that keeps circling the internet:

“Making that decision is a privilege many of us don’t have.” And it’s true. Painfully true.

Authenticity is beautiful—holy even—but it is also contextual. It is strategic. It is earned. And for many of us, especially women and leaders of color, authenticity has never been something we could hand out recklessly.

Early in my career, I believed “bring your full self to work” meant the same thing everywhere. Oh, I was young. And hopeful. And unaware of how quickly a space can call you in for your brilliance, and then punish you for actually using it.

Some rooms loved the idea of me—the polished résumé, the big vision, the capacity. But they were not prepared for the reality of me—the clarity, the conviction, the truth-telling, the boundary-setting.

There were titles given without authority. Opportunities offered without support. And seasons where my intuition screamed what my mouth did not have the freedom—or safety—to say aloud.

On the podcast, I talked about learning when to speak, when to wait, and when to let my presence communicate what my words couldn’t survive.

That wasn’t shrinking. That was strategy. That was stewardship. That was discernment soaked in prayer.

If I had more time on that episode, here are the deeper truths I would’ve unpacked—the ones you may need in this season:

1. Authenticity isn’t just about being real — it’s about being safe.

Yes, show up truthfully. Yes, honor who you are. But also: don’t offer your wholeness to spaces that have not earned, prepared for, or demonstrated the capacity to hold it.

Discernment is not self-betrayal. It’s self-protection. Compassion includes compassion for yourself.

2. Intuition is instruction.

Intuition is not “just a feeling. ”It is data. It is wisdom. It is intelligence wrapped in spirit. It is God’s whisper in the gaps where language fails.

If something inside you says, “Move with care, ”“Watch the room,” “Not yet, ”that is not fear. That is your soul shepherding you.

Listen.

3. Presence is a leadership tool.

There are moments when your presence speaks louder than any microphone. Moments when silence is not weakness—it is strategy. It is boundary. It is authority.

Sometimes the room needs your steadiness more than your speech. Sometimes the lesson is that you don’t have to perform to be powerful.

4. God doesn’t put us in places we’re not meant to be.

Even in uncomfortable spaces, you are protected and positioned. Even when the environment is unprepared for your gifting, your assignment is still legitimate.

God has never sent you anywhere alone. Not once. And if you’re in a season where the room isn’t ready—trust that you are. And God is too.

My hope is that this episode reminds leaders navigating identity, labor, and belonging that authenticity is not a performance. It’s a practice. A wise, courageous, discerned practice.

One that honors your calling without sacrificing your safety. One that allows you to be whole without letting the room devour you.

A Final Word for Your Journey

You don’t owe your fullness to every space. You don’t have to “be real” at the expense of being well. And you don’t have to dim your light to survive—you just need to carry it with wisdom.

Authenticity without discernment is exposure. Authenticity with discernment is power. Read the room, baby. And read yourself too.

🎧 Watch the clip + full episode HERE

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