Purpose Will Break You — And That Is Not Failure

Formation, Stretching, and the Women Who Carried Calling Through Breaking

DR. E SPEAKS! | Women’s History Month

There is a moment that does not get talked about enough.

The moment when you realize that purpose is not just calling you— it’s chasing you. In your conscious mind. In your subconscious.

But if I’m honest, the most undeniable impact of purpose has not been the calling.

It has been the stretching.

Purpose stretches you.

It breaks you open in places you did not expect. It requires more of you than you feel ready to give.

And if you’re not careful, you will misname that moment.

I know I did.

You will call it failure. Forced to resign. Demoted. Fired.

And sometimes… let’s tell the truth.

It’s not always purpose.

Sometimes you are navigating unhealthy environments. Sometimes you are working under leadership that is intimidated by your presence, your voice, your “glow”— benefiting from your expertise while resisting your growth.

That is real.

And it matters.

But there are also moments—quieter, deeper moments— when what feels like breaking…

is not destruction.

It is formation.

The Truth We Don’t Say Enough

Not every breaking is failure. Some breaking is formation. And some formation is the cost of becoming.

That is the part we don’t name.

Especially for women. Especially for Black women.

Because we were taught to carry.

To endure.

To survive.

But rarely were we taught how to interpret the stretching.

March: From Survival to Design

February asked us to look at the mask.

To name what protected us. To honor the armor we inherited. To tell the truth about survival.

And if we were honest, many of us realized:

The mask worked. The armor protected us. Survival carried us.

But March invites a different question:

If the mask kept us alive… what do we do with the life we’ve preserved?

Because Women’s History Month is often framed around celebration.

Milestones. Firsts. Breakthroughs.

And those matter.

But I am more interested in something quieter. Something more radical.

How women—especially Black women—have survived systems they did not design…

…and are now positioned to reshape them.

We inherited armor.

But we are not required to inherit limitation.

We learned resilience.

But resilience alone is not the goal.

This month, the invitation is clear:

From protection to authorship. From reaction to design. From surviving what was given… to choosing what we carry forward.

Because history does not only belong to the women who endured.

It belongs to the women who decided.

When Purpose Starts Asking More of You

Purpose has a way of disrupting what once worked.

The patterns. The roles. The expectations.

Even the identities we built to survive.

Because the same strength that helped you endure…

can become the very thing that keeps you overextended.

Overcommitted.

Over-responsible.

Purpose begins to ask harder questions:

What are you holding that you no longer need?

What are you carrying that is no longer yours?

What are you maintaining out of habit… that no longer aligns with your healing?

And when you start answering those questions

something has to shift.

Breaking Is Not Failure

For many women—especially Black women—breaking has been framed as weakness.

We were taught:

Hold it together. Figure it out. Don’t let them see you struggle.

But let’s tell the truth.

Some of what we call “strength”…

was survival.

And some of what feels like “breaking”…

is actually release.

It is the moment you stop carrying what was never meant to be yours alone.

It is the moment you stop performing strength…

and start practicing wholeness.

It is the moment resilience evolves.

In my keynote, I shared that resilience is not something we created.

It is something we inherited.

But inherited resilience has to mature.

It has to move:

From survival… to adaptation… to strategy.

And I would add now

To wholeness.

Women Who Carried Calling Through Breaking

We come from women who carried purpose through pressure.

Women who built while grieving. Women who led while being overlooked. Women who created while navigating systems that resisted them.

They were stretched.

They were tested.

They were often underestimated.

And still—

they built.

Not because it was easy.

But because they understood something we are still learning:

It refines you.

It clarifies what matters.

It forces alignment.

It teaches you how to build differently.

With boundaries.

With community.

With intention.

From Breaking to Building

So the question is not:

Will purpose stretch you?

It will.

The question is:

What will you do in the stretching?

Will you retreat to what is familiar?

Or will you allow the stretching to reshape you?

Because this is the shift March is asking of us.

Not just to survive what we’ve been through.

But to design what comes next.

To build lives that do not require constant survival.

To create spaces where we do not have to wear the mask to belong.

To lead in ways that do not cost us our health, our voice, or our sense of self.

When It Feels Like Too Much

So if you find yourself in a season that feels heavy…

Uncertain.

Disruptive.

Even painful.

I want to offer you a different lens.

This may not be failure.

This may be formation.

Formation into someone who no longer carries everything.

Formation into someone who chooses intentionally.

Formation into someone who does not just survive systems—

but reshapes them.

Closing Reflection

If you are in a season where things feel heavy… uncertain… or even like they are falling apart

I want you to consider a different possibility.

You are not failing.

You are being formed.

Formed into someone who does not just survive systems

but reshapes them, BUILDS them…

Formed into someone who does not just carry everything

but chooses what is worthy to carry.

Formed into someone who understands that resilience got you here…

but wholeness is what will sustain you.

A question to hold:

What is this season trying to form in you… and what is it asking you to release?